Ice Breakers and Beyond

I walked into a networking event where nothing was happening. 

Everyone was huddled in little groups, talking in low voices. I walked up to the nearest stranger, stuck out my hand and said, "Hi, I'm Caelan. What's your story?"

Suddenly, we were talking about this guy's favorite subject: himself.

I kept the conversation going by asking him leading questions, and spent so much time listening to him, that he was eager to find out who his new friend was.

We would have talked all night, but I had to find someone else who wasn’t talking to many people, and break the ice with my favorite, all-purpose conversation starter: “What’s your story?" 

How to talk to anyone about their favorite subject

I always smile when a salesperson says to me, “So, Caelan, where are you from...originally?” 

The geography of my childhood almost never has to do with the purchase at hand. (I’m not counting my limited-edition DC Superman figurines, of course.) When a conversation turns into where I’m from...originally, I recognize and appreciate that the salesperson is doing two things:

• Trying to get to know me, by finding out what kind of person I am, and 

• Trying to get me to open up, by revealing some facts about myself that most people don’t know.

Most people don’t know where you are from...originally, because most people don’t care.

When someone takes an interest in your origin, you find yourself willing to share some of the most personal details about your life. Your childhood, your hometown, what it was like growing up there. These are not things you tell strangers.

But you will tell friends. And, most likely, anyone who asks will get closer to you.

You can get closer to other people too, just by asking them the right questions. 

Questions start easy conversations with new people

The best salespeople are not great talkers; they are great listeners.

Their ability to ask the right questions is what sets them apart from their competition, not their ability to recite a pitch.

Ask open-ended questions that get the other person talking about themselves, and they will open up.

Think of it like a game: anytime you are talking, you lose a point. Anytime the other person is talking, you gain a point. Keep ‘em talking with some of the questions below.

7 all-purpose conversation starters to get any conversation going

1. What’s your story?
2. Where are you from, originally?
3. How did you get into your line of work?
4. What’s going on in your industry nowadays?
5. Who did you come here to meet?
6. That’s an interesting (drink, business card, lapel pin, piece of haberdashery, etc.) Where did you get it?
7.  just found out what a Pokemon is. Do you have kids?

Starting a conversation gracefully is the hallmark of a professional communicator. People feel comfortable doing business with someone who can keep a conversation going. 

When you want to start talking with new people, ask them questions about themselves. The conversation will blossom naturally, and continue toward friendship.

Big Job Title, Big Response

While I was at a conference, I met someone from Apple.

When he handed me his card, I knew we would have a great conversation. His title was "Senior Armageddon Avoidance Engineer."

I could have been in the middle of talking to three hot prospects, and I would have put all those conversations on hold to talk directly to this guy.

I met someone else at the same conference with the title "Customer Service Specialist." While I was genuinely interested in doing business with his company, after the conference I couldn't remember this guy's name, or his title, or his company. I had to sift through my business cards to find him.

“Oh, yeah, the generic guy.”

What kind of impression do you want to leave with your job title?

What’s Your Superpower?

Your job title should not only get attention, it should reflect your personality. This is an opportunity to be creative about defining yourself.

What kind of real-world or historical occupations are a super-version of the things you do, or the way that you do them?

Anyone with a keyboard can be a “Data Entry Specialist.” But the same person is perceived very differently when she calls herself a “Spreadsheet Queen.”

You don’t have to just be a “Customer Service Representative.” You can be a “Happiness Engineer,” or an “Excellence Technician.”

Identify your unique superpower and how your work directly benefits the customer. Add those together to get your new, memorable job title!

Don’t go over the top, but go close to it.

Having a job title like “Godzilla Kong” would certainly be unique, but it wouldn’t convey what your position is, or imply what you do. (Unless you work in citywide demolition. If that’s your job, “Godzilla Kong” is a go.)

While you’re brainstorming job titles, go way over the top. Get ludicrous. Write down fifty arrogant job titles, and somewhere in the 30s or 40s, you’ll hit on a word or phrase that is just crazy enough to be interesting, but still serious enough to show you get things done.

6 Job Title Brainstorming Tips

1. What words describe the benefit that you provide to the customer? Make a list. Think of emotions and actions.

2. What outlandish occupations describe your working style? Are you a Ninja, a Cheerleader, or a Reigning Overlord?

3. Write down a list of the 50 craziest job titles you can think of. Ask your funniest friend to help you.

4. Cross off the ones you'd be embarrassed to have on your LinkedIn profile.

5. If you're in legal services or insurance, it may behoove you to rein it in a bit more than a motorcyle salesperson or a software rep.

6. Say it out loud over the course of a week. Test it out on a few new contacts. If it still feels right after a week or or two, it's time to put it in print. Armageddon avoided.

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Cliches: Avoid them like the plague! Er...

Leaning on a cliche to convey meaning works against you as a self-marketer, salesperson, and relationship builder. This is especially true in your emails, marketing materials, and sales presentations.

You know what cliches are, right? They're common analogies and expressions that have become dull and meaningless due to overuse. And when it comes to sales and marketing communication, meaningless is not your aim.

Here are 5 tips to avoid cliches:
(Titles are for your amusement.)

1. The writing on the wall. Say what you mean, without flowery, superfluous language. Be specific. Clear, precise wording creates impact. Rather than starting your email or PowerPoint with the title, "You Have To Spend Money to Make Money," you could write, "The 2 Investments Every Business Owner Must Make Now." Which lead-in would keep you reading?

2. Haste makes waste. Cliches are relied on because they require little thinking. Thinking takes time. Most people, like your competitors, are lazy. (Maybe you are too.) Hard workers, who are smart, use their mind to their advantage. When you fail to inject knowledge and notion enriched thought into your writing, customers will interpret your words as twaddle. Take the time to re-think and replace cliches with mindful verbiage.

3. Cheaters never prosper. Cliches are essentially copying. Remember my most retweeted tweet: "The only company that ever succeeded by copying was Xerox. Be an original." I could have saved the fifteen minutes I invested to craft that quote and re-used the cliche, "Don't be a copy cat." However, I wouldn't have received the same windfall of retweets. (Follow my "cliche-free" tweets: @andyhorner)

4. Too much of a good thing. "He was dead" delivers more force than "He was dead as a doornail". Verbose descriptions diminish the significance and potency of your ideas and stories. Brevity is an attractor of admirers and an attribute of wisdom.

5. Throw them a curve ball. Alter a cliche to give it new meaning and capture your reader's attention. Instead of saying, "What goes around comes around," say, "What goes around doesn't have to come around." Now that you've piqued your reader's interest, elaborate.

BONUS TIP: There are no stupid questions. Think "Jeopardy." Phrase your cliches in the form of questions to give them new life, engage readers, and prompt reactions. The cliche "Let us do the heavy lifting" doesn't carry the same weight as "How much can you lift?"

When you're tempted to reach for a cliche, try one of these tips. It'll return to you - not in spades - but in respect, responses, and revenue.

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